Show Don't Tell Cheat Sheet (With Before & After Examples) | Self Pub Hub - Self Pub Hub

Show Don’t Tell Cheat Sheet (With Before & After Examples) | Self Pub Hub

One simple writing rule can turn a flat manuscript into a vivid movie inside the reader's mind. It's "show, don't tell," the secret to pulling readers out of their world and dropping them straight into yours. Instead of just reporting a character's feelings, you make the reader feel them through action, dialogue, and sensory details. This isn't some fluffy suggestion; it's a bedrock technique of fiction writing. If you want to improve your prose, this show don't tell cheat sheet gives you the before-and-after examples you need to get it right.

Too Long; Didn't Read
  • What It Is: Showing uses sensory details, actions, and dialogue so the reader experiences the story. Telling just states facts and emotions.
  • Why It Matters: Showing creates an immersive experience, builds a stronger emotional connection with your characters, and makes your writing more interesting.
  • How to Use It: Swap out abstract emotion words (like "sad" or "angry") for physical actions (slumped shoulders, clenched fists) and concrete sensory details (the smell of rain, the grit of sand).
  • When to Tell: Telling is fine for moving the story along quickly, summarizing minor events, or giving backstory without dragging things down.

The Ultimate Show Don't Tell Cheat Sheet

The best way to learn "show, don't tell" is to see it in action. Below are more than 20 common emotions and situations, changed from flat statements into living scenes. Bookmark this page and come back to it whenever you catch yourself telling the reader what's happening.

Showing Emotions: From Angry to Confused

Emotions drive good fiction. Telling the reader a character is angry is like trying to describe the color red to someone who's never seen it. You have to show it through their actions and their environment.

1. Angry

  • Telling: He was angry.
  • Showing: He slammed the car door so hard the frame rattled. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, and a muscle ticked in his jaw.

In-Depth Example:
Mike pressed his lips into a thin, white line. He stared at the eviction notice, the paper trembling in his hand. A vein throbbed at his temple. He didn't shout. He didn't throw anything. He just carefully, deliberately, folded the notice into a perfect square, his movements tight and controlled. The silence in the room was louder than any scream.

2. Sad

  • Telling: She was sad.
  • Showing: She slumped onto the edge of the bed, her gaze fixed on the rain streaking down the window. Her shoulders shook with a silent sob she refused to let out.

In-Depth Example:
For a week after the funeral, the house was a museum of his absence. His coffee mug sat unwashed by the sink. His boots, still caked with mud, were by the door. She would walk past his empty chair and trace the worn spot on the armrest, her breath catching in her throat each time. Using details like this is a key part of learning how to write a story that will make someone cry.

3. Nervous

  • Telling: He was nervous about the presentation.
  • Showing: His throat felt like sandpaper. He wiped his damp palms on his trousers for the tenth time, his heart thumping against his ribs like a trapped bird.

In-Depth Example:
Jende stood backstage, the murmur of the crowd a low hum through the curtain. He checked his tie again, the knot feeling impossibly tight. He rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen the knot of tension at the base of his neck, but it only seemed to get worse. When he glanced at his notes, the words swam before his eyes.

4. Attracted

  • Telling: She was attracted to him.
  • Showing: She found herself laughing a little too loudly at his jokes. When he leaned in to speak, she could smell the faint scent of his cologne and felt a warmth spread through her chest.

In-Depth Example:
Every time he looked at her, she felt it. A current that started in her toes and buzzed its way up her spine. She mirrored his posture without thinking, leaning forward when he did, her gaze lingering on his mouth as he spoke. The rest of the noisy party faded into a dull background hum. Building this kind of tension is a must for writers who want to learn how to write a slow burn that destroys the reader.

5. Lying

  • Telling: He was lying.
  • Showing: He wouldn't meet her eyes, focusing instead on a spot on the wall just over her shoulder. He kept clearing his throat and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

In-Depth Example:
"I was at the library," he said, the words coming out just a bit too fast. He ran a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture he only did when he was cornered. He offered a smile that didn't reach his eyes, which darted around the room, landing on everything but her face.

6. Grieving

  • Telling: He was grieving.
  • Showing: He wore the same crumpled shirt for three days. The mail piled up on the counter, unopened. He sat by the window for hours, watching the world move on without him, a cold cup of coffee forgotten at his elbow.

In-Depth Example:
The house was too quiet. Every creak of the floorboards echoed in the silence his laughter used to fill. He’d find himself walking into the kitchen to tell her something, only to stop dead in the doorway, the memory hitting him like a physical blow. He didn't cry. It was a hollow ache that sat deep in his chest, a weight that made every breath an effort.

7. Excited

  • Telling: She was excited about the trip.
  • Showing: She bounced on the balls of her feet, a grin stretching from ear to ear. She’d already packed her suitcase twice, rearranging everything to make sure it was perfect.

In-Depth Example:
Suri's heart hammered against her ribs. She squeezed Eva's hand, her eyes wide and sparkling as she stared at the concert tickets. "I can't believe this is real," she whispered, her voice breathless. She couldn't stop moving, pacing the small living room as if she could burn off the energy buzzing under her skin.

8. Jealous

  • Telling: He felt a surge of jealousy.
  • Showing: His jaw tightened as he watched her laugh at something the other man said. He took a long, slow sip of his whiskey, the glass cold against his knuckles, which had gone white.

In-Depth Example:
He watched them from across the bar, a bitter taste in his mouth. The way she tilted her head, the easy smile she gave him, it was a language he used to speak. He forced himself to look away, focusing on the condensation on his glass, but his eyes kept flicking back, drawn to the scene like a moth to a flame that would burn him. Tapping into these intense feelings is a great way to make your outlining more effective and is one of our top tips for improving writing productivity.

9. Exhausted

  • Telling: She was exhausted.
  • Showing: She stumbled through the door, dropping her keys and bag on the floor. Her eyelids felt like they had weights attached, and every muscle in her body ached.

In-Depth Example:
The thought of climbing the stairs to her bedroom felt like preparing to scale a mountain. She leaned against the wall, the cool plaster a brief relief against her skin. A deep yawn stretched her jaw until it cracked. She just needed to close her eyes, just for a minute.

10. Scared

  • Telling: Sarah was scared of the dark.
  • Showing: When her mom turned off the light, Sarah pulled the covers up to her chin. Every creak of the house was a footstep. Every shadow in the corner of her eye was a monster. She held her breath, listening.

In-Depth Example:
A floorboard groaned upstairs. Her breath hitched. Her heart began to pound a frantic rhythm against her ribs. She froze, one hand on the doorknob, straining to hear over the blood roaring in her ears. The shadows in the hallway seemed to lengthen, twisting into menacing shapes. She couldn't bring herself to take another step.

💡 Pro Tip

Use all five senses to show fear. Don't just focus on a racing heart. Mention the metallic taste of adrenaline, the sudden cold sweat on their skin, the way sounds seem amplified in the silence, or the smell of dust and decay in a creepy old house.

11. Determined

  • Telling: She was determined to finish.
  • Showing: Her jaw was set, her eyes fixed on the summit. Her legs burned and her lungs screamed for air, but she pushed onward, one agonizing step at a time.

In-Depth Example:
The code wouldn't compile. For the third hour, the same error message mocked her from the screen. She pushed her glasses up her nose, ignoring the ache behind her eyes. She leaned closer, her fingers flying across the keyboard, trying a new approach. Sleep was a distant luxury. Food was an afterthought. There was only the problem, and she would solve it.

12. Confused

  • Telling: She was confused.
  • Showing: She tilted her head, a slight furrow between her brows. She reread the text message for the fourth time, but the words still made no sense.

In-Depth Example:
"Wait," she said, holding up a hand. "Go back. You said you were in Chicago on Tuesday, but your train ticket says Wednesday." She shook her head slowly, as if trying to physically rearrange the pieces of the puzzle in her mind. They didn't fit.

Showing Situations and Settings

This principle isn't just for emotions. It's for bringing your entire world to life.

Telling (The Boring Way) Showing (The Immersive Way)
The house was huge. His entire family could live in the kitchen alone. The ceilings soared so high that voices echoed slightly.
It was a cold day. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and watched his breath cloud the air in front of his face. A sharp wind cut through his thin jacket.
The food was delicious. He took a bite of the steak and closed his eyes, savoring the rich, smoky flavor. Juice dripped down his chin.
The city was busy. The air was thick with the smell of street food and exhaust fumes. A constant river of yellow cabs flowed down the street, their horns a chaotic symphony.
He was a rude man. He shoved past the old woman without a word, letting the heavy door swing shut in her face.
Her room was messy. Clothes were piled on the chair, books overflowed from the shelves onto the floor, and three half-empty mugs were clustered on her nightstand.

But Wait, Is Telling Always Bad?

No. Frankly, treating "show, don't tell" as an unbreakable law is a rookie mistake. Good writing uses a balance of both. Telling has its purpose. It's an important distinction for anyone trying to write their first book.

Writing coach Jerry Jenkins puts it well: showing is for the moments that matter, while telling is for controlling pace and delivering information quickly. Over-showing just bogs the reader down in pointless detail. Nobody needs a paragraph about your character tying his shoes, unless that frayed lace is about to snap and make him fall at the worst possible time.

The Decision Tree: When It's Okay to Tell

If you're not sure, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is this moment emotionally important for the character or the plot?

    • YES: Show it. This is where you hook the reader.
    • NO: Tell it and move on.
  2. Does this information cover a long period of time?

    • YES: Tell it. "He spent the next five years training in the mountains" is better than writing 200 pages of training montages.
    • NO: Proceed to the next question.
  3. Is this necessary backstory or exposition?

    • YES: Tell it, but tread carefully. Weave it in briefly. Nobody wants a three-page info-dump at the start of your book. A sentence or two will do. A character's internal thoughts are a great way to do this naturally.
    • NO: You should probably show it.
  4. Are you trying to speed up the pace?

    • YES: Tell it. In an action sequence, quick "told" sentences can jump between key moments without getting bogged down. We cover this in detail in our guide on how to write fight scenes.
    • NO: Take your time and show the scene.

Author Elaine Castillo has a great take on this: "Show that which exceeds your ability to tell it. Tell what exceeds your ability to show it." That perspective, mentioned in a Masterclass article on writing techniques, is about finding your own voice, not just blindly following rules.

Common "Telling" Words to Watch For

When you edit, hit CTRL+F and search for these filter words. They're often a dead giveaway that you're telling instead of showing.

  • Felt
  • Saw
  • Heard
  • Knew
  • Realized
  • Thought
  • Wondered
  • Seemed
  • Decided

Example:

  • Telling: She felt sad when she saw the empty swing set.
  • Showing: A lump formed in her throat as she looked at the empty swing set, its chains creaking softly in the wind.

How to Practice and Master This Fiction Technique

Knowing the rule is easy. Making it an instinct is hard. Here are three exercises to practice your showing skills.

  1. The Emotion Game: Write down five emotions on separate pieces of paper (e.g., guilt, relief, suspicion, pride, contentment). Draw one and write a 200-word scene showing a character experiencing that emotion without ever naming the emotion itself.

  2. The People-Watching Exercise: Go to a public place like a coffee shop or a park. Observe people and write down their actions. What does the man tapping his foot on the floor reveal? What about the woman staring into her empty cup? Translate these physical observations into character descriptions.

  3. The "Find and Replace" Edit: Take a chapter you've already written. Search for every emotion word ("happy," "nervous," etc.). For each one you find, challenge yourself to delete that sentence. Rewrite the paragraph to show the emotion through action, dialogue, or internal sensation. You can work this into your regular editing process, just like you might use a romance tropes checklist to check your plot points.

Getting good at "show, don't tell" is a process. It takes real effort at first, but with practice, it becomes second nature. It's a fundamental part of developing a strong authorial voice, whether you're writing short stories or an epic fantasy series. As you learn how to write a story with dialogue, you'll see that what characters say, and how they say it, is one of the best showing tools you've got.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Can you "show" too much?

Definitely. It's called overwriting. If you spend three pages on the dust motes in a sunbeam during a knife fight, you'll lose your reader. Pacing is everything. Use showing for the big emotional moments and telling to get through the boring bits, like travel or time skips.

Does "show, don't tell" apply to non-fiction writing?

Yes, just in a different way. For narrative non-fiction, memoirs, or even blog posts, showing means using anecdotes, case studies, real examples, and quotes to prove a point instead of just stating it. This makes your information stick with the reader.

Is it okay to "tell" in the first draft?

Yes, 100%. A first draft is just about getting the story down. A lot of writers find it easier to "tell" the story to themselves first, writing notes like "He was furious about the betrayal." Then, during edits, they go back and turn that one sentence into a full scene.

How does this rule work with a character's internal thoughts?

A character's internal thoughts (or interiority) are a great way to show emotion and motivation. You can let the reader see their thought process, their anxieties, their hopes, and how they justify their actions. It's still showing because you're putting the reader right inside the character's head. They get to experience the thoughts, not just hear the summary.

Are there any genres where "telling" is more common?

Some genres, like epic fantasy or hard sci-fi, need more telling to handle complicated world-building or explain science. Some literary styles also use a more narrative, "told" voice on purpose. The point is to be intentional. As long as you choose to tell for a reason and not just by default, you're doing it right.